No More Funerals

I know death is a part of life. I've just had enough of it in the past year! It all started when I was out one night bowling and I heard one of my friends had died. That was hard to deal with but then it just kept coming. Just weeks later my cousin Julie died right before her first grandchild was born. It wasn't long after that when I got the call about my Aunt Mary Lou passing away. I had just seen her at my cousins funeral and she was fine. It was alot to deal with, but I did it. I was sad for my Mom because my ex-stepdad who she was still very close to had died. I didn't know what to say to her about it and that was rough. Little did I know the worst was yet to come for me. My maternal grandmother had fallen and hit her head and was in the ICU with a skull fracture and bleeding on her brain. I packed the kids up and drove 14 hours to get to Mississippi to help check her into a nursing home. A few short months later she passed away. That tore my heart out. She was such a great woman. I should have called her more, sent more pictures, and brought the kids to visit more. I have so much guilt for that, but I know she understood how busy I was . After that I tried to make more time for my Mom and have the kids call her. Before I knew it she was gone too. My sister, Jeri, and I were with her in the hospital when she passed from complications from a car accident and an infection. Even through all of this I had never seen the kind of pain that was about to hit my cousin Lisa. Her daughter Emma had a sweet baby girl who was only 11 months old when she passed away. It was the first time I'd ever been to a babies funeral, and I hope I never have to do that again. I am almost scared to answer the phone if anyone calls before 8 a.m. because I'm pretty sure it's another death in the family. I didn't think I was old enough to start seeing everyone at funerals every other month. Shouldn't that happen when I'm in my 60's? So much of this death has been sudden and I wonder if that is worse than having time to say goodbye. I don't know which one is better or if there is a better when it comes to dieing. Either way it's terrible and I've had enough of it in the past year and a half. Last week my Great-Aunt Betty Sheffield died and I couldn't go to her funeral because the kids had me so busy. I know everyone has to deal with death, but I'm taking a year off. No more funerals, and why is the word fun in funeral? That seems a little mean. There isn't anything fun about it!