Too Young To Feel This Damn Old

The past 4 months have been very hard for me. It all started the first week of June of this year. I woke up one morning and had a headache like nothing I'd ever had before. I really just figured it would go away on its own and spent most of the day on the couch. The kids were getting ready to get out of school for the summer, and they had a ton of energy those first days of summer break. I was still suffering from that terrible headache. This had never happened to me before so I called my family doctor and saw him within 2 days. He said it was probably a sinus infection, even though I said it was in the back of my head, which I thought was odd. He's the doctor so I didn't argue. Two weeks later I was done with the anti biotics and the headache hasn't even gotten better. The only way I don't feel it is to sleep, so I'm doing that alot at this point. As Kelsey says it's the summer of Mommy needing naps! I was happy when the dr. sent me to an ear, nose and throat doctor. So now we are going into the month of July and I've had one big pressure headache in the back of my head and neck for over 3 weeks, ugg. The E.N.T. was quick to do CT scans of my sinuses and said I could benefit from having surgery, so we scheduled that right away. I was excited, yes I know that sounds odd, but I just wanted the pain to go away! At this point I've been on Vicodin, Lortabs, and Darvacet and nothing is helping the pain, only making me sick to my stomach. On August 19th I had my sinus surgery and thought things would get better. The first week after the surgery I was in MORE pain than I was before so I thought maybe it was just part of the healing process. Then when I went in for my post op check up a week later I was upset to find out that I should be feeling better. So I was sent back to my family doctor with a clean bill of health from the ENT and told the headaches must be from something else. My family doctor said it must be tension headaches and to use a heating pad on my neck. Now I'm just starting to get mad. I've had a headache the entire time my children were on summer break. I was no fun to them because I couldn't do anything without needing to laydown. I started to notice the pain got worse while sitting or standing and eased up when I was lieing down. Then I start to notice that my legs are having little jerks like when you start to fall asleep, but I'm wide awake. So the end of August I tell the family doctor that something is really wrong and he needs to do something. He then sends me back to the E.N.T. saying it must be a sinus infection because of all the pressure I am feeling. The E.N.T. dr does another set of CT scans just to prove that my sinuses are "beautiful" as he says! Now I'm ready to find a different doctor. Before I have a chance to call around...I fall to the floor right in front of my oldest daughter Brooke, who is only 11 years old. She was freaking out, and I was too, but acted like it was no big deal so she would calm down. I had a new symptom now. If I reach down to pick something up off of the floor I get dizzy and fall over. Now I'm on my way to the walk in clinic for a new set of ears to hear my problem! Thank God for Dr. Kahn in LaPorte Indiana. I saw him on September 17, and he couldn't believe I had been suffering since the first week of June. I told him the entire long story and he listened to every word I said without acting like I was crazy. When I was done talking I had tears in my eyes cause I was so scared of being told it was just a migraine or tension headache, or ear infection, or sinus infection, etc...but he said "Something is wrong, and you need a neurologist." Then he said he would do some x-rays, and CT scans and send the results to his good friend who IS a neurologist. I was so happy to have a doctor who knew it was not ok to feel the way I was feeling. The next day I fell again and ended up in the ER. The neurologist was called and he ordered blood work, and MRI. Then I was sent home and told to see the neurologist in 2 days and to rest as much as I could. I saw the doctor and was told he thinks I have a cerebral spinal fluid leak with Chiari malformation. Well as soon as he said this I kinda spaced out and didn't hear much for a minute. Then I said can you say that again, because I knew what that was, I have a friend who has 2 daughters that have Chiari, and I knew the only way to fix it is brain surgery. Now the doctor has ordered another test which I have to wait a week for, and it will test the CSF flow from my spine to my brain to show if/where the block is and how bad and how much flow there is. The day after my doctor appt. I started having serious burning down my back and I called the doctor to see if there was anything he could do for that and the answer was no not until after the tests are done. If I stand up I get dizzy, and if I don't sit back down I will fall. I have to spend most of my time flat because that's the only way the pressure is relieved, but it never goes away, it's always throbbing. My leg spasms have increased alot and now my left arm does it too. I can't believe it's almost October and I haven't had a good day since June. I have hope that soon I will feel better. Once all my test results are in there is a neurosurgeon that will look at them and decide what needs to be done. I can't imagine what it will be like to go through that kind of surgery, but I can't imagine living with this pain for much longer. I miss walking my kids to school and being able to climb up in Rachel's top bunk to wake her up in the morning. My kids have been great through all of this and really helping out around the house, but I'm the Mom and I need to be able to take care of them, not the other way around.