The Grinka Family

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

2011-11-19T18:35:00.002-06:00

I just saw the new Twilight movie with my bestie, Felicia. I am ashamed to say that at my age I have read all the books and seen all the movies. This one is just as good as the last 3, and now that I've seen it I will take my oldest daughter tomorrow. I always go first to make sure they are not going to freak out my kids. The younger 2 daughters wait to see them on dvd so I can edit the bad stuff out. I can't wait for the last part to come out next year. I never go to the midnight showing when the movie opens but the next one is the last and I'm sure I will be in line at midnight for that!

Trick -or- Treat 2011

2011-11-05T21:29:00.008-05:00

This time of year is always tricky to know if it's going to be too cold to dress up for trick or treating with coats & gloves or if it's going to warm and sunny. This year was nice on both nights we went out with the kids. Brooke is at the age that she dresses up with friends and passes out the candy. I love that she still dresses up, and I hope she does it for a couple more years. I wish they could stay young forever.

Rachel's Big Day

2011-11-05T21:19:00.007-05:00

Rachel was a flower girl a couple of months ago and the pic's are awesome! She loved every minute of it and I was so proud of her.

My Baby Is Growing Up

2011-11-05T21:02:00.003-05:00

This is my favorite picture of Rachel from the wedding.

Half Of A Lifetime

2011-06-11T21:01:00.005-05:00

I met my soul mate when I was only 17. I know that sounds young but it is so true. I wasn't even looking when he showed up in my life. I'm almost 34 and soon I will have been with Ron longer than I have lived without him. I have always wanted to grow old with him and have him by my side during the good times & the bad. It is so awesome that I'm living that dream. I am so happy to have 3 beautiful daughters that we get to raise together. I love having my best friend with me everyday of my life. My favorite thing is when we read each others minds and finish each others sentences. Our children think that it's so crazy when both Ron & I will say something at the same time. Like he will ask me what I want for dinner and I'll say Chinese food and he'll already have the menu in his hand without me knowing it. I can't imagine my life without him & I'm so blessed that I have such a good man to take care of me. He is an amazing father and I can't wait for next weekend to surprise him for Father's Day. The kids & I have so much in store for him.

Just Amazing!

2011-06-10T19:14:00.007-05:00

School is out for summer and it is off to a great start. So far we've been at the beach more than we've been home. I love living so close to Lake Michigan. I'm so blessed to be able to wake up and tell the kids to pack up the beach toys & towels and hit the beach. The school year ended with Rachel having another year of all A's, and she has since she started school. Brooke had the honor roll all year and Kelsey graduated 5th grade and is off to middle school in the fall. Time is flying by, but I hope the summer doesn't go too fast. This is my favorite time of year, and even though there are several sad people trying to bring me down, they won't!

INSOMNIA

2011-04-19T23:54:00.002-05:00

So after a nice thunderstorm I sit here in the dark and can not go to sleep. I love the sound of the thunder but it wakes the kids up. I climbed into the top bunk and tried to get the little one back to sleep, which I did, but I was not lucky enough to fall asleep. The house is so quiet this time of night, it's wonderful. It would be even more wonderful if I could figure out how to use the new tv. I really wanted to fall asleep to a movie but can't find my way to Netflix with the new remote. The first thing I need to do tomorrow is ask Ron how that works, lol, or the kids since they know how to work everything on it. How can this tv have all these features and I can't even find the button on the remote to bring up the screen for any of them? I need to start DVRing more shows so when insomnia hits and there is nothing else on tv I can watch my fav shows. Goodnight world, I hope the rest of you are sleeping soundly in a warm cozy bed next to someone you love. XOXO

Tattoo #3

2011-04-17T16:36:00.005-05:00

I have 2 little tattoos. My first one is of tweety bird and I got it when I was 17 in Cocoa Beach, FL at Ron Jon surf shop during spring break. My other one is a chinese symbol that I got 7 years ago. I have wanted a new one for awhile and this week I'm going to get it. I'm so excited and here is a picture of it. The star will be blue & the heart inside the star will be red with the swirl lines being shaded black.

Battle of the tv's!

2011-04-17T15:49:00.003-05:00

The tv on top is the LG & the bottom is the Samsung.

So last weekend we got a new tv. I was so excited when we got the new Samsung LED smart tv but as my luck goes it came with a broken speaker. So after returning the broken one to Best Buy we went with a different tv and I'm so happy. Now we have the LG tv that has more options & the picture is so sharp. I think if you have to choose between the 2 you should get the LG. These pictures are of the 2 and the LG has a better border around the tv too.

More Wilderness Pic's

2011-04-15T22:31:00.005-05:00

Wild Wave Action

2011-04-15T22:23:00.005-05:00

The Great Wave Waterpark

2011-04-15T22:15:00.005-05:00

I love the wave pool waterpark the most out of 3 of the indoor parks because the roof lets in natural sunlight and it's so warm & you can work on your tan. The kids love it because their dad takes them out into the crazy waves when the waves are going. It is a regular pool for awhile then the waves go for about 5 minutes and then it returns to normal.

The Wilderness Resort in the Dells

2011-04-15T22:09:00.003-05:00

We go to the Dells at least once a year, and our favorite place to stay is the Wilderness. We have tried the Great Wolf, and the Kalahari, but we just can't get enough of the Wilderness. This year Rachel had more fun than she has ever had. She was a wild child, and it was great to see her trying things she's never tried in the past.

Spring Break 2011

2011-04-15T21:47:00.003-05:00

We just checked in and are planning which waterpark to go to. We stayed in our favorite 2 bedroom condo in the Glacier Canyon Lodge at the Wilderness Resort in the Wisconsin Dells.

They Grow Up So Fast

2011-04-15T21:09:00.003-05:00

So tonight was Kelsey's first Fun Night at her soon to be new school. She is almost 11 and will be going into 6th grade in August. The middle school has a party for the 5th graders to meet the 6th graders, and she had a blast. I remember doing this 2 years ago for the first time for my oldest daughter, Brooke. I can not believe that in August I will have 2 kids in middle school. It really does seem like just yesterday that I was finding out we had another baby on the way. How does it pass so quickly and how do I make it slow down? I am so happy that Kelsey is excited about this new stage in her life, and I pray she has a great time when she gets there in August.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T12:46:00.002-06:00

I hope you all are having a wonderful Valentine's Day. Even if you're single you should take the time to pamper yourself! I can remember 16 years ago I had the worst Valentine's Day, but I had no idea it would lead me to the man I would spend forever with!!! I was 17 and I was seeing a guy who didn't think he needed to take me out for Valentine's Day, he planned to go out with his friends, which was a habit I was getting tired of. So the light bulb went off in my head & I listened to my friends advice & went out to a big party & had a blast. I wasn't looking for love, since I was very bitter at the time, lol, but couldn't help but notice this guy who was tall, funny, and very persistant. Even though our first meeting was filled with him being silly & locking my cell phone, and not telling me how to unlock it, he had such a sense of humor and that's just what I needed. I then found out he had just split from a relationship too so I really just thought we would go out a few times & have fun & no stress of being serious. Wow that was 16 years ago! Now we have 3 beautiful daughters and it's been a long road, but as time goes on it seems to be getting easier. I love that we can finish each others sentences, and read each others mind. It gives me goose bumps sometimes thinking about something & then he looks at me & says "hey are you hungry for chinese?" and I look at him like how did you get in my head. I am so thankful that 16 years ago I was pushed aside so that I could find my soul mate & best friend. I hope I have many more Valentine's with Mr. Grinka!

Angel

2010-08-02T22:51:00.000-05:00

In Loving Memory

2010-07-16T01:18:00.004-05:00

I haven't blogged in a very long time. My insomnia is back so I will be on here more. On June 26 my niece Deana Marie Garrison passed away in her sleep. She was only 24, and was the mother of a sweet 3 year old girl, Riley Ann. I miss Deana so much. My heart is broken. I am trying to deal with the pain of her being gone but it's not easy. I know someday I will be with her again, until then she will be with me in my heart.

Words from Oprah!

2010-03-22T09:22:00.004-05:00

When people show you who they are
Believe them the first time!
Because if they are going to lie to you
They are a liar.
If they are going to cheat on you
They are a cheater.

Surgery

2009-10-29T00:41:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't been on here in awhile and that is because I sleep all the time. I will be in Indy for my surgery on the 9th. Starting to get nervous but also want it over with. I will try to post more once I am out of the hospital. I'm kinda sad that I can't take the kids trick or treating. I have missed out on so much with this Chiari and csf leak.

Trick or Treat is almost here!

2009-10-04T17:47:00.003-05:00

It's almost that time of year again, and my kids are ready for some candy! Brooke is still trying to find just the right costume, but the other 2 girls are all set for trick or treating. Here's a preview of the "runway Diva" and the "devil-ish Diva". Not really happy about the devil costume but I was in the hospital and had no say so in what they picked out. I told Rachel to pray for forgiveness after she's done getting her candy, lol.

Someone's Trying To Tell Me Something...

2009-09-27T13:07:00.051-05:00

This all started the day I went to the neurologist's and heard the dreaded word "Chiari". On my way to the appt. I stopped at a gas station to grab a Mt. Dew, and on the window was a poster about a man who was just diagnosed with Chiari & Syringomyelia. I asked for a copy of this because I know 3 people who have Chiari. Two of them are young sisters, and the other one is a woman my age that works at the same school as the 2 sisters that have it. What are the odds? This is a rare disorder but 3 people in the same school that my children attend have Chiari. Hmmm, and now I see this poster and see that another person in my town has it. Not once did I think I was going to hear the doctor talking to me about it. So now I'm going to tell you about the problem I've been having with the newspaper company, and it might seem like I'm just rambling but it all comes together I promise. About a month ago a guy came to the door and was selling newspaper subscriptions to The Post. I thought it sounded like a good deal so I signed up. Two weeks later I get a bill for a paper that I never got so I called the office. They said it showed I was getting the paper, they said they were sorry, and they'd get it sent out and credit my bill. Still weeks later no paper, so after getting another bill I called and said cancel this and I'm done with your paper. Today we saw a newspaper in our driveway and I was shocked when I opened it up to see that it had an article about a rare brain disease called Chiari and how there needs to be more information for doctors. So...I order this paper a month ago, call twice to complain about not getting it, cancel it, and then get the one paper that is talking about something that I am being effected by. What are the odds? I really wonder if someone is trying to tell me something?

Brooke's 6th grade school picture

2009-09-26T22:02:00.002-05:00

Day From Hell

2009-09-26T21:32:00.004-05:00

So today was another day from hell. There's nothing worse than opening your eyes and starting the day with pain. This time it was bad enough for me to be sick to my stomach. I really can't wait to see the dr. this week and find out what the game plan is. I know I'm crabby and I can't even stand people right now. I just want to be left alone because it seems like no one understands what I'm going through. I don't know what I'm going to do about getting the kids to and from school now. I can't walk them cause I'll get dizzy and fall over, and it's not safe for me to drive. I thought for sure the kids did fine walking on their own on Friday but Rachel just told me that she cried the whole way there cause she missed me. I could have done without hearing that! I feel bad enough about not being able to do much for the kids, and now this...

Too Young To Feel This Damn Old

2009-09-26T03:19:00.003-05:00

The past 4 months have been very hard for me. It all started the first week of June of this year. I woke up one morning and had a headache like nothing I'd ever had before. I really just figured it would go away on its own and spent most of the day on the couch. The kids were getting ready to get out of school for the summer, and they had a ton of energy those first days of summer break. I was still suffering from that terrible headache. This had never happened to me before so I called my family doctor and saw him within 2 days. He said it was probably a sinus infection, even though I said it was in the back of my head, which I thought was odd. He's the doctor so I didn't argue. Two weeks later I was done with the anti biotics and the headache hasn't even gotten better. The only way I don't feel it is to sleep, so I'm doing that alot at this point. As Kelsey says it's the summer of Mommy needing naps! I was happy when the dr. sent me to an ear, nose and throat doctor. So now we are going into the month of July and I've had one big pressure headache in the back of my head and neck for over 3 weeks, ugg. The E.N.T. was quick to do CT scans of my sinuses and said I could benefit from having surgery, so we scheduled that right away. I was excited, yes I know that sounds odd, but I just wanted the pain to go away! At this point I've been on Vicodin, Lortabs, and Darvacet and nothing is helping the pain, only making me sick to my stomach. On August 19th I had my sinus surgery and thought things would get better. The first week after the surgery I was in MORE pain than I was before so I thought maybe it was just part of the healing process. Then when I went in for my post op check up a week later I was upset to find out that I should be feeling better. So I was sent back to my family doctor with a clean bill of health from the ENT and told the headaches must be from something else. My family doctor said it must be tension headaches and to use a heating pad on my neck. Now I'm just starting to get mad. I've had a headache the entire time my children were on summer break. I was no fun to them because I couldn't do anything without needing to laydown. I started to notice the pain got worse while sitting or standing and eased up when I was lieing down. Then I start to notice that my legs are having little jerks like when you start to fall asleep, but I'm wide awake. So the end of August I tell the family doctor that something is really wrong and he needs to do something. He then sends me back to the E.N.T. saying it must be a sinus infection because of all the pressure I am feeling. The E.N.T. dr does another set of CT scans just to prove that my sinuses are "beautiful" as he says! Now I'm ready to find a different doctor. Before I have a chance to call around...I fall to the floor right in front of my oldest daughter Brooke, who is only 11 years old. She was freaking out, and I was too, but acted like it was no big deal so she would calm down. I had a new symptom now. If I reach down to pick something up off of the floor I get dizzy and fall over. Now I'm on my way to the walk in clinic for a new set of ears to hear my problem! Thank God for Dr. Kahn in LaPorte Indiana. I saw him on September 17, and he couldn't believe I had been suffering since the first week of June. I told him the entire long story and he listened to every word I said without acting like I was crazy. When I was done talking I had tears in my eyes cause I was so scared of being told it was just a migraine or tension headache, or ear infection, or sinus infection, etc...but he said "Something is wrong, and you need a neurologist." Then he said he would do some x-rays, and CT scans and send the results to his good friend who IS a neurologist. I was so happy to have a doctor who knew it was not ok to feel the way I was feeling. The next day I fell again and ended up in the ER. The neurologist was called and he ordered blood work, and MRI. Then I was sent home and told to see the neurologist in 2 days and to rest as much as I could. I saw the doctor and was told he thinks I have a cerebral spinal fluid leak with Chiari malformation. Well as soon as he said this I kinda spaced out and didn't hear much for a minute. Then I said can you say that again, because I knew what that was, I have a friend who has 2 daughters that have Chiari, and I knew the only way to fix it is brain surgery. Now the doctor has ordered another test which I have to wait a week for, and it will test the CSF flow from my spine to my brain to show if/where the block is and how bad and how much flow there is. The day after my doctor appt. I started having serious burning down my back and I called the doctor to see if there was anything he could do for that and the answer was no not until after the tests are done. If I stand up I get dizzy, and if I don't sit back down I will fall. I have to spend most of my time flat because that's the only way the pressure is relieved, but it never goes away, it's always throbbing. My leg spasms have increased alot and now my left arm does it too. I can't believe it's almost October and I haven't had a good day since June. I have hope that soon I will feel better. Once all my test results are in there is a neurosurgeon that will look at them and decide what needs to be done. I can't imagine what it will be like to go through that kind of surgery, but I can't imagine living with this pain for much longer. I miss walking my kids to school and being able to climb up in Rachel's top bunk to wake her up in the morning. My kids have been great through all of this and really helping out around the house, but I'm the Mom and I need to be able to take care of them, not the other way around.

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

2009-09-01T19:13:00.002-05:00

Well I'm about to find out! I thought I was just going to get high lights but I went a bit further. I love it but I think it really shocked a few people since I didn't tell anyone I was doing it.

man's best friend

2009-07-17T23:38:00.003-05:00

It has been almost 2 months since my dog Tara and my cat Smokey were attacked by two raccoons. Smokey has since passed on, and I really thought Tara was going to win this battle. After all she is a big Rottweiler, and after weeks of anti biotics and shots from the vet she was doing much better. It looks like the infection has spread to her lymph nodes and she will not be with us much longer. I'm watching her sleep right now in the living room floor. Brooke is up with me for the night and we are taking turns spooning with Tara to keep her comfy. She is having a hard time breathing because her lymph nodes are the size of oranges in her neck and they are pushing on her airway. She has an appt. at 8 a.m. to see the vet and we will have to make a hard choice at that time. I don't want to let her go. She's only 5 years old and we should have alot of time left. Right before she got sick I spent the day with her at the Indiana Dunes in Michigan City and it was so much fun. She loved the beach and hiking up the trails. I don't want to go to sleep because I'm so scared she will be gone when I wake up. Maybe that would be for the best but I want her to stay with me forever. I also don't want the kids to say good bye to another animal. We just lost a cat because of this and it was terrible. The kids cried for days. I could see animals being attacked by raccoons if we lived in the country but we live in the city, and the dog was in a fenced yard. Smokey the cat was a stray that we had been feeding since he was a kitten. After weeks of meds and several trips to the vet he had to be put to sleep. The raccoons that did this are bigger than my sisters cocker spaniel. I couldn't believe how big they were. How can the city just let these nasty animals run around and feed off of people's pets? On Monday I will be making phone calls to the city to find out what they plan on doing to stop this problem. Goodnight, and now it's my turn to cuddle with Tara.

Louisville Zoo

2009-06-25T18:27:00.004-05:00

Wonder if he knows we came to watch him....

You Might Be a Redneck...

2009-06-23T14:29:00.003-05:00

If you drive down the road like this...

Go-Carts

2009-06-23T13:44:00.007-05:00

The girls had so much fun riding the go carts that we did it two nights in a row. I learned during this vacation that if I'm the one that's always taking the pictures there are never pictures of me doing anything with the kids.

Home from Vacation

2009-06-22T20:35:00.008-05:00

We just got back from Pigeon Forge Tennessee. These are a few pictures from the trip. I think I took over 800 pictures during the week. On the way down to the cabin we stopped at the zoo in Louisville Kentucky. Then to the hotel and the kids loved spending time at the pool. Then we hit the road early the next morning to the cabin in the woods. It was so much fun. The cabin was 3 stories tall with 2 stories of decks, a hot tub, sauna, pool table, air hockey, and a view that would take your breath away. The first night at the cabin the kids couldn't get enough of the pool table and I coldn't get out of the hot tub. We had a busy week planned. We spent one day in Gatlinburg at the Ripley's Aquarium. Nights were full of fun downtown on the strip where the kids could do carnival rides or go carts, and mini-golf. We spent on afternoon at a petting zoo that had some of the craziest animals I've ever seen. We got to play with deer, and baby goats. They had camels that would eat out of your hands. Then we got feed the fish in their pond and the fish were over 3 feet long. The kids loved that. The first 2 nights we were at the cabin it stormed. It was so pretty to see the sky light up in the mountains, but the kids were freaking out and had a hard time getting to sleep. Ron took Kelsey and Rachel on a helicopter tour over the mountains while Brooke and I went shopping along the strip. I wish I could have seen their faces going over the mountains, but I wasn't about to get into a helicopter. The kids ate at The Waffle House for the first time. That was fun and sticky. We were sad to say goodbye to the Smokey Mountains but it was so nice to get back home. I can only handle so much of the woods, humidity, and bugs. The last night we were at the cabin a bear tore apart the garbage cans and that was a nasty mess! I will try to upload as many pic's as I can but I really don't think anyone wants to see all 800 of them. I will put video's on youtube. My channel is jmelyn29.

Frienemy

2009-05-26T13:03:00.002-05:00

The Urban Dictionary says a frienemy is a toxic person who poses as a friend but would cut your throat if given the chance. Too bad they don't have it tattoo'd on their forehead so you know who they are! I hate it when you know there's a rotten apple but you just can't find it to throw it out, and I'm not talking about fruit.

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-24T22:06:00.009-05:00

This was a great weekend. The kids helped me plant flowers and they even loved pulling out all the weeds left over from last year. We painted the fence & shedd, cooked out, and went to Lake Michigan. The water was a bit cold, but the kids didn't care. They had so much fun running in the waves, and collecting rocks. I really didn't want the day to end, but kids got bored, and I got tired, so we packed up to head home around 5:30 p.m. I can't wait for school to be out for summer so that we can go to the beach more often. I could sit there all day long! It's so peaceful and I love the sound of the waves coming in. I couldn't help but think about my nephew, Dan, who is in the Army and stationed in Iraq. He loves being in the Army, and I'm so proud of him. I just wish he was back in the states doing training rather than fighting in a war. So as you are celebrating the holiday weekend please think about why we get to have a 3 day weekend with our families, and how there are people away from their families right now so we can have our freedom.

One Of Those Days

2009-05-18T12:47:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days where someone has pissed you off so bad that you just want to smack them? Well I'm having one of those day....

I Want To Be A Loser

2009-05-17T19:50:00.003-05:00

Today when I turned on the Wii Fit game I was so excited to see that I had lost 2 pounds. That was all it took to put me in a great mood for the rest of the day. I have been trying to eat healthier, and smaller portions. Maybe it is starting to pay off. I do go to the YMCA, but not as much as I should. I swore that by the time summer got here I'd be back in a tiny bikini, well, I didn't realize how fast the days are going by! I've thought about the reasons why I want to lose weight and it's really not about the bikini. I want to be healthy, and feel good about myself. I don't want to be tired and sore after going for a walk with the kids. Those 2 pounds that I've lost are only the beginning. If people on the Biggest Loser can do it then I think I can too. I just have to get up off of my butt, and put those cupcakes down.

Stray vs Purebred

2009-05-13T21:28:00.004-05:00

What makes one cat better than another? I have 2 himalayan cats, Coby & Bella, then I have been feeding a stray cat which I have named Smokey. My purebred cats are great, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Smokey is also great. He is a beautiful silver tabby and is so sweet. The other day he was in a bad cat fight and his back leg was cut open and infected. I had to take him to the vet and get him treatment. I think of him as my pet, even though he lives outside. I've been feeding him for a year, and I spend time with him everyday. What makes him any less important than the purebred cats that I paid money for? I've been told I can't keep him in the house because he is a stray, and that really upsets me. I really wanted to get him healthy and clean and try to get the other cats use to him. For now he is in the garage in a huge dog crate because the vet said he has to stay there until his leg heals or he will probably be attacked again. I've been making sure he eats and I'm cleaning his leg like I was told to do, but once he's better I've been told to find him a home. I'm just as attached to him as I am the other 2 cats that I bought from a breeder. Why isn't he good enough to be our pet? The kids love him so much and I don't want to take him to the shelter. I just can't stand to think of what will happen to him.

The Truth Will Set You Free or Will It?

2009-05-12T21:38:00.004-05:00

I take pride in the fact that I can keep a secret. Even when it's really hard to keep my mouth shut. There are things I know about so many people and yet...I can't share them with anyone. I use to really love it when people would tell me their dirt, but at what point is it enough? I don't mind it so much when it's just venting but when Mrs. Soinso catches a bad infection from Mr. Soinso and Mr. Soinso's girlfriend is now pregnant...WOW! I could write a book, but I won't! Friends that really can't stand each other, that's the worst, because what are they saying about me when they make that next phone call? I really wish things were as simple as "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Does the woman who has a dirt bag for a husband really want to know he's a dirt bag? Would she believe it if she saw it with her own eyes, probably not! Is that quiet man at church really there to hear the word of God or is he the one that is calling you from a blocked number? I just can't believe some of the things that grown people do these days. For now I have to keep it all to myself. But the next time you see someone who you know is doing something shady think about how good it would feel to rat them out!

Networking

2009-05-11T10:34:00.003-05:00

I'm on facebook, myspace, twitter, and this sight. It's hard to keep up with all the different pages. Twitter is easy but if you don't have any one following you then what's the point. Myspace has too much spam, but I like the photo uploader better than facebooks. Can't there just be one networking place for everyone that has the best of all the pages. I love facebook because I've found so many people on there from way back in the day. I wish you could have custom profile pages like on myspace. Maybe someday some one will figure out a ways to put them all into one!

No More Funerals

2009-05-11T09:47:00.002-05:00

I know death is a part of life. I've just had enough of it in the past year! It all started when I was out one night bowling and I heard one of my friends had died. That was hard to deal with but then it just kept coming. Just weeks later my cousin Julie died right before her first grandchild was born. It wasn't long after that when I got the call about my Aunt Mary Lou passing away. I had just seen her at my cousins funeral and she was fine. It was alot to deal with, but I did it. I was sad for my Mom because my ex-stepdad who she was still very close to had died. I didn't know what to say to her about it and that was rough. Little did I know the worst was yet to come for me. My maternal grandmother had fallen and hit her head and was in the ICU with a skull fracture and bleeding on her brain. I packed the kids up and drove 14 hours to get to Mississippi to help check her into a nursing home. A few short months later she passed away. That tore my heart out. She was such a great woman. I should have called her more, sent more pictures, and brought the kids to visit more. I have so much guilt for that, but I know she understood how busy I was . After that I tried to make more time for my Mom and have the kids call her. Before I knew it she was gone too. My sister, Jeri, and I were with her in the hospital when she passed from complications from a car accident and an infection. Even through all of this I had never seen the kind of pain that was about to hit my cousin Lisa. Her daughter Emma had a sweet baby girl who was only 11 months old when she passed away. It was the first time I'd ever been to a babies funeral, and I hope I never have to do that again. I am almost scared to answer the phone if anyone calls before 8 a.m. because I'm pretty sure it's another death in the family. I didn't think I was old enough to start seeing everyone at funerals every other month. Shouldn't that happen when I'm in my 60's? So much of this death has been sudden and I wonder if that is worse than having time to say goodbye. I don't know which one is better or if there is a better when it comes to dieing. Either way it's terrible and I've had enough of it in the past year and a half. Last week my Great-Aunt Betty Sheffield died and I couldn't go to her funeral because the kids had me so busy. I know everyone has to deal with death, but I'm taking a year off. No more funerals, and why is the word fun in funeral? That seems a little mean. There isn't anything fun about it!

It's Been Awhile

2009-03-01T18:48:00.002-06:00

I haven't been on here in a couple of months. So many things have happened. The worst being that my mother passed away on January 27th. At least my sister, Jeri, and I were there with her when she left us. It was hard to watch. My mother & I had a complicated relationship. We didn't always see things the same way. I hate that I didn't have enough time to get the girls up to Wisc. to visit her before she died. It was a sudden thing. My sister and I had very little notice to get to the hospital and by the time we got there the dr. said she was brain dead. I'm not sure if she heard me or not but I have to believe she knew I was there. I have to say that no matter what your relationship is like with your mom it hurts like hell to lose her. I took for granted that I could call her tomorrow. She was only 59 so I thought there was still alot of time with her. I feel terrible that I never sent this years school pic. of the kids yet. They have been on top of the microwave for months waiting to be put in the mail. I feel bad for my sister because she had to do so much after mom passed. I couldn't get away long enough to help clean the house and plan the funeral. My sister did a great job of giving Mom a beautiful memorial service. It seems like I'm at the age now where you see everyone at funerals and say we have to stop getting together like this! The night I got home from Mom passing...Rachel came up to me and gave me a huge hug and said "I'm sorry your Mom died." And I said "I'm sorry your Grandma died." It was so nice of her to try to comfort me.

Late Night Blogging

2009-01-01T01:12:00.000-06:00

Here I am still awake at 1:15 a.m. and everyone else is sound asleep. At least now when I can't sleep I can sit and type away on the computer. Insomnia has been a big part of my life for several years. The cycle of being tired during the day but then wide awake at night. Hours of looking at the clock until you've just had enough and you turn the tv back on. They really should have more reality shows on between 2-5 a.m. I try to be so quiet walking through the house that I start to make more noise than if I just went about my business as normal. Every now and then Rachel will get up and tell me she needs a drink, and then she asks if it is already morning. I have to explain that it's still night time and that I just haven't fallen asleep yet. She always says she will try to rub my back to help me doze off since that is what I do for her when she can't sleep. Those are the things I will remember even when I am OLD, or should I say I hope I remember when I get old. Tonight I thought for sure I would fall asleep before midnight but no luck. I told the dr. about all of this and his idea was to take meds, which I'm not against, but when you have to take care of children that's not so easy. I tried to take something over the counter that he suggested and I couldn't pull myself out of bed the next morning. Then he said he could give me something that he just knew would work, and that gave me crazy nightmares that made it even harder to get back to sleep. I kind of like my quiet time but I know tomorrow when they wake up and I've only been asleep for 2 hours I will be sorry. I think I'm going to go watch some silly tv shows. My new favorite is The Real Housewives of Orange County. These women are so funny! I thought that as you grew older, had a family, became stinking rich that you would have no worries or problems at all. These ladies fight like they are still in high school and drink like they just got to a keg party, except with wine. I've learned in California women drink wine all day long, even while shopping they are holding a wine glass. I wonder what the girls at Old Navy would say if I cracked open a Coors Light? Why do you need to drink while spending $1,959.99 on a pair of jeans anyways, lol. I wouldn't watch the show if it weren't so funny! I love to shop but watching some of these rich ladies spend $40,000 on a necklace almost made me cry. I'm not sure if I was going to cry out of jealousy or just the waste of money that they don't even see the value of. Oh well, it's just a "reality show". I'm sure they are told to go spend a sick amount of money because they are in L.A. and that's what viewers expect to see. Either way it is entertainment, and at 2:00 a.m. I need something that will make me laugh. This picture makes me laugh....it's when Coby was a kitten and he always stood on his back legs. I don't think he knew he was a cat! Now he's all grown up and too fat to stand like that.

Cleaning can really make a mess!

2008-12-31T18:50:00.002-06:00

I'm taking a break from cleaning right now. Brooke is having a party this weekend and I'd like for her friends to think the house is always spotless! Because we all know that at the end of the day the last thing on my mind is~ did I throw the stack of junk mail away or is it in that huge pile on the table by the book shelf. It doesn't bother me to have my friends come over and see my house because everyone has some clutter, but there are going to be parents that I know will walk out and the only thing they will remember about my house is that heaping pile of old homework, mail, catalogs from xmas last year, etc....So today is the day for sitting down and going through every piece of paper that I've neglected for about a year! Keep in mind I have 3 children that have an opinion about everything they see me putting in the garbage stack. I can't keep every single math worksheet they bring home. I have been at this for hours, and I've found some cool stuff that I forgot I even lost! I was surprised to see our cats registration papers because I could swear I had actually put them in with things I NEED to fill out and send in. Our cat is almost a year old so you can see I wasn't in a hurry to get that taken care of. The worst part about this cleaning project is the mess that it has created! My living room floor is covered in stacks of things that I need to keep for some silly reason. I need more organization in my life! I am a pack rat. Why do I need to keep sale coupons for a store that I've never been to, and will never go to? Trust me, I've got coupons....just in case. I could just throw everything away since I haven't even looked at the stuff in months, but then I might not find that card from my Grandma Cantrell from xmas last year. I just found it a few minutes ago, and that's when I had to take a break. She just passed away this year. I still miss her so much. Finding that card was worth all the mess that I still have to deal with. Now I guess I should get back to the mess because it won't clean itself.

New to this!

2008-12-29T20:50:00.000-06:00

I have to say that I am so glad Christmas is over! It was very hard keeping the girls out of the gifts that were wrapped and waiting under the tree. My 10 year old, Brooke, tried to open everything and re-tape it without me finding out. I told her I was once young and did the same thing. She thinks I don't know these tricks. I can always count on her sisters to tell me what she's doing because they can't keep a secret for more than 2 minutes. Now we are starting the second week of winter break from school and I am already hearing them say that they are bored. They promised after opening all their gifts that I wouldn't hear them wine about being bored, but that was too good to be true. I always enjoyed being out of school for Christmas when I was young and don't think I ever said I was bored. My children do not enjoy just relaxing around the house all day like I do. They want to GO somewhere all the time. I can't wait for them to go back to school next week. Rachel is in kindergarten, Kelsey is in 3rd, and Brooke is in 5th grade and they really need to be busy all the time or they drive each other crazy. Somedays it's like they can't even be in the same room with each other without fighting. I always had this dream of my girls being best friends, and playing together all day without any problems....boy was I wrong. They are all so different from one another and they never want to play the same thing. I'm off to bed now to try to get some sleep. Lately I've had a bad case of insomnia, but that's a blog all in its self! Goodnight.